Cupid is STUPID!
by I always smile
Summary: And All the guys, no ALL of Fairy Tail agree. Lots of pairings. Sequel up.
1. The Boys

**Jellal**

How in hell did _this_ happen? How in earth did _I _fall for Erza?

Sure, we were both in the tower of heaven. Sure, I thought she was the most perfect person in the world. (I hadn't seen much of the world back then though.) Sure, I looked out for her. But Falling for her?

That was just crazy…

But it did happen, I love her. _I love Erza_.

But… but… but…Ugh!

This love is definitely doomed to be one-sided forever_…ever… ever … ever_ (echo)

Man, Cupid is one stupid creature…

**Alzack**

I got married to Bisca. Sure, she is hot and kind and strong and hot and sweet and beautiful and lovely and did mention _hot_? If I did I'll scream it in your face this time MY WIFE IS HAWT! You jelly? Well, don't be.

She is scary too.

Apparently, Erza taught her some moves and she aint afraid to use 'em.

BUT I STILL LOVE HER!

Because the stupid thing called Cupid shot an arrow up ass. And I've never been happier.

**Cobra**

She was a snake, now she's a chick. I used hear her hiss; now I hear her speak.

I see her. I hear her.

Cupid hit me. I didn't hear fast enough to dodge.

Cupid is stupid… _AND_ I hear him.

**Gray**

She was supposed to stalk_ me_. Not get a Stalker for herself.

That White-haired, squint-eyed, striping, bastard Leon follows her EVERYWHERE! And he's always all over her saying things like 'Juvia-chan, lets go a date.' 'Juvia-chan, dump this idiot so we can date.' How can she dump me, _if we aren't even dating_!

And every time I think she's leaving me for him…

I think I'm jelly. Like really, _really_ jelly. Cause I'm Considering _stalking_ her. ME, stalking JUVIA!

_Fuck you cupid!_

**Loke**

I thought I knew how to make a woman fall in love. C'mon a ladies man, like myself, must. I know how to please them. I know how and when to woo them. I know what to tell them. I even know when to _leave_ them.

But I don't know how to do _anything_ to her!

I mean look at me! _I_ stopped thinking about other woman._ I_ stopped thinking dirty thoughts about other woman._ I_ stopped dating other woman.

I basically stopped _everything_ to do with other woman.

Well, except Lucy. She's my master, I _have to_ protect her. But I don't flirt with her anymore.

And Aries still won't take a hint! Every time I try to flirt with her she at first says she's sorry. (Then she finally blushes and says something. And it is just so damn cute; I fall for her even more.)

Does that mean she's sorry that she doesn't feel the same way? Is she rejecting me?

Cupid is just so-so-so so _stupid_.

**Elfman**

…

…

…

Ever said it would be manly to say Cupid is stupid.

…

…

…

Cupid is stupid. I AM A REAL _MAN_!

**Laxus**

I always hated her, that monster of a barmaid.

First when she joined the guild, she was scary. She was two years younger so I didn't get beaten up by her. But she was just so damn annoying. Always screaming, 'Erza! I'LL KILL YOU TODAY!' and then wrecking havoc in the already noisy enough guild. Jeez, couldn't a man just listen to music in peace.

And then Lissana was sent to that place called Edolas. And she changed completely. And the old man kept telling me how I should be more like her! I hated her guts.

Then one not-so-fine day, I was sent in an s-class mission with her. I don't know what happened but now I find her absolutely wonderful.

I think…. I'm in love with her.

*Laxus from the past appears outta no where*

WHAT! NO! THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING! CUPID IS STUPID! SO FUCKING STUPID! I _MUST_ HIT HIM WITH LIGHTNING AND CHANGE THE FUTURE! _I MUST!_

**Natsu Dragion aka Edo/fireball Natsu**

Lucy-san is scary and mean and rude and reckless and punk-ish and pretty and weird and scary.

But I know she is a really good person; she's just been through a lot. She grew up in an orphanage and no one ever loved her. She was abused. I can tell because I saw those scars that are still all over her body. She is still kind in her own way. She is ready to die for any of us. She stops us from breaking down mentally (by teasing us and telling us that we look pathetic.) But she

Never lets us see her weak side. The side that silently sheds tears all alone in some dark corner of the dorm.

I love her and *sigh* I know she will never feel so same for me.

*starts to cry* Why? Cupid-san why? Why couldn't you make Lucy-san fall for me too? *cries harder*

**Happy**

I don't really know who Cupid is…

Carla said he was nude baby … with wings. Hahahahaha! He must be stupid!

Cupid has to be stupid! Hahahahaha!

**Gildarts**

I fell in love…

And I made the goal of my life to become strong enough to slaughter Cupid.

He destroys a man's life.

**Romeo**

When I first saw her she was older than me. But I have to say. I had a little crush on her.

Hey, c'mon everyone has a crush on an older person at some point. … Right?

Well, I did too.

Then when the Tenrou incident happened, I realized at that time it really wasn't a little crush. It was an _enormous_ one.

And one finest day _ever_, everyone came back. _She_ came back. Funny, now she was the one younger. So if everyone gets a crush on someone older at some point, I think in Wendy's case it's gonna be me. Cause I'm the only guy around her age in the guild. So I'm waiting for her to have a crush on me.

Oh, who am I kidding? She is _never_ gonna love me. Love sucks. Cupid is a goddamn stupid creature, who should killed.

**Natsu**

Cupid who now?

Don't tell me he's another one of *growls* _Lucy's boyfriends_.

_Great_. Just freakin _amazing_! Now, I have to go sniff him out and kill him. Well, can't kill him. But still I'm gonna beat him up so bad!

After I'm done I'm sure he will stay the hell away from her. But Lucy won't talk to me for days!

*groan*

Damn you stupid cupid bastard!

**Gajeel**

I am a punk, aint I?

Then, why did fall for some short, nerdy, cute, smart, weird shrimp?

Oh, I know because Cupid is Stupid.

S-T-U-P-I-D!

**Gray Surge aka Edo-Gray**

*whines* Why doesn't Juvia-chan love me? I wanna go to Earthland.

The cupid here is _stupid_.

O.O

**So this is a story about all the pairings I'm rooting for. The title was given to me by my sis. So credits to her. And If 5 people review and say they want a sequel then, I'll paste a second chapter with the girls.**


	2. The Girls

**Erza**

When I was little, Jellal was my hero. I always had a little crush on him. Then, Jellal fell into the darkness. I thought I got over him. I thought I hated him. I didn't though.

I had the perfect chance to kill him when we fought at the R-system. But I didn't, I couldn't. I still loved him.

And then I got _My_ Jellal back, only for the council to take him away. And the Tenrou accident happened. When we got back he was free.

But…but he said he has a fiancée. AND OMG I ALMOST _KISSED_ HIM. Well, I of course I know the fiancée thing was lie. But what if he lied because he didn't _want_ to kiss me?

I SWAER THAT I WILL KILL CUPID THE NEXT TIME I SEE THAT STUPID CREATURE!

**Bisca**

I have a very er, gentlemen like husband…?

Oh who I am I kidding? The last thing Al is a gentleman.

He has no table manners, he complains when I wanna go shopping, he burps, worse, he _farts_.

Well, I'm stuck with him forever because Cupid shot me with arrow. Ugh!

(Btw, cupid so should switch to a gun. Who uses bows and arrows these days?)

**Kinana**

Um, uh, well…. *furious blush* I'm Kinda-sorta, okay I'll admit Madly in love with Eric.

He is my prince who just isn't the good guy!

Well, about cupid….Everyone said he is really stupid; since everyone said that it must be true. But Mira-san said he is not and she's never wrong, so….

Eh, Cupid may or may not be very …. Stupid?

**Juvia**

JUVIA LOVES HER GRAY-SAMA! But Lyon-sama really loves Juvia.

Oh no! What if Gray-sama thinks Juvia likes Lyon-sama and goes of with … *Gulp* Lucy.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cupid-san has made a very stupid mistake to make Lyon-sama fall for Juvia instead of Gray-sama. Juvia demands he fixes his mistake or is he one of Juvia's love rivals too?

*glare* Juvia. _Will_. Destroy. Her. stupid. Love rival.

**Aries**

I'M SORRY that I am so very silly. I'm sorry I fell for Leo.

He would never like somebody like me. He has all those other beautiful Woman and spirits around him. All those Ex-girlfriends, who are crazy to get back together with him. And Lucy.

I'm not Jealous of my mistress. She is the kindest one I ever had. She cares for us. She thinks of us as her friend rather than mere tools for use. She even cried for some one like me .She is kind and beautiful and … everything I ever wanted to be. And I could never compete with her.

Cupid-san was stupid to me make me fall for him. I'M SORRY, THAT WAS DISRESPECTFULL!

**Evergreen**

I could get _any_ guy I want. After all I _am_ beautiful, kind and strong. I'm the _only one_ who can be truly compared with a fairy.

But he is so-so-so UGH! He doesn't see _my_ beauty. All he thinks about is being Manly. I mean, come on who would pass out on a chance to serve me? Apparently he would. I hate him so damn much!

But I really want him to ask me out already!

Cupid just _sooo_ stupid!

**Mira**

I always loved _love_. I mean just look t our Guild; can't you see all the wonderful couples and all the wonderful children they could have! I _know_, I see it too.

The guild has people who are just daring me to come and hook them up. Like take Natsu and Lucy for example or maybe Jellal and Erza. I can already picture the little pink haired girl with deep brown eyes and the purple haired twins (one girl, one boy).

But I recently realized why the others don't enjoy Love. How could Cupid ship me and _Laxus!_

I know he is really hot and strong and tough. But he has a good heart. I remember one time when master sent just the two of us in an S-class mission; He took a direct hit to save a pregnant woman. And when the woman thanked him he blushed, actually _blushed _and said she was annoying… and Cupid got me.

Cupid is wonderful but a really stupid kind of wonderful

**Lucy Ashley aka Edo/scary-Lucy**

Since when am I some stupid _girly_ chick? The kind which only thinks about pink gooey mushy stuff? Apparently since for a few months now that stupid, idiotic, wimpy, car-loving, arrogant only in his car, crybaby somehow made me like that! ME! Lucy of Fairy tail! Ugh!

I don't really wanna say it… but this fucking bitch of a fanfiction writer is making me!

I think I'm in …. *gulp* _Love_ with Natsu!

Why? Because cupid is _fucking_ stupid!

**Carla**

That-that _he-cat_ always _annoys_ me! Offering me fish! What kind of a fool offers a lady _fish_? I really hate fish! (Milk is _so_ much better.) And… and… and… he is a fool! A little cute but I'd never mention it to him.

But ever since we came back from Edolas, I've been feeling so strange around him. Lately I found out what it is and came to a conclusion.

Which happens to be that….

Cupid is stupid.

**Cornelia**

I was in love with Gildarts. But man, did he screw things up! Well, I loved him anyway.

And if ya didn't know I'll tell ya Cupid is really stupid. I'm _dead_ so I met the guy in heaven. And, man was he goofy!

**Wendy**

I always thought Romeo was adorable. I mean he had such a kind and innocent expression. NOT THAT HE ISN'T KIND OR INNOCENT NOW! *plays with fingers* It's just… it's just… *covers face with hands and shakes head violently*

I THINK I LIKE HIM! *blushes* like, like _like_ him. But… but… he is just so cool and strong and handsome and brave and cute and … O my gosh!

*cries* cupid-san, Why are you so stupid? *cries harder* I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult you.

**Lucy**

I've always wanted a prince charming. One with dark brown hair and sparkling green eyes (Blonde hair and blue eyes are soooooo unoriginal) who would take me out on the most romantic dates. Be really sensitive. Always go with whatever I said. Never fight with me. Never be mean to me.

But more importantly he would love me unconditionally. Protect me. Tell me I'm pretty. (Though I already know I am.) Always make feel special. Be able to make me smile no matter what.

And I saw those traits in one salmon-haired-idiotic-freak.

I WANTED A GODDAMN PRINCE! LIKE A ONE THAT WAS SENSITIVE AND KIND AND WELL MANNERED AND ALL THAT!

Y'know what…. Cupid is stupid.

**Levy**

Romance is _nothing_ like what they say in the novels, girls. I'm warning you as a fellow female.

Look at me for example… I am head over the heels in love with Gajeel. Everyone, I mean, _everyone_ sees it (even Jet and Droy accepted it) except for him.

God, I shoulda fall for Jet or Droy. At least they would get the fact if I returned their feelings. I didn't fall for them though….

I'm warning you, _Cupid is stupid_.

**Edo-Juvia**

This sucks. Juvia feels jealous of _Ashley_. Why? Because she hangs with Gray, Juvia meant _Surge_ more than Juvia does. And Juvia doesn't even like Surge. Wearing so many jackets and Juvia swears he looks just like a weird snowman. The Earthland Surge, wait he is Fullbuster there. Well, Fullbuster's stripping habits are much preferred by Juvia... He has a great body. Well, the Gray here does so too. Juvia accidentally walked up…

Damn it, Juvia just called Gray, Gray instead of Surge and she was talking about his abs…

…

…

…

Cupid is _stupid_ and Juvia swears she _will_ kill cupid.

**Sorry, I took so long… I sort of have anger management issues. I broke my internet modem in a state of rage. So even though typed it out long ago, I couldn't post it. (Thank goodness, I released my murderous intent on the modem instead of the computer. My family would kill me if it was the computer.) **


End file.
